


The Book I Could Write - Es

by Lifelesshighschooler



Category: ALTER EGO (Visual Novel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifelesshighschooler/pseuds/Lifelesshighschooler
Summary: Es has read thousands of books, each multiple times over. This is the one she was able to write.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21
Collections: Temple of Es Collection





	1. The Room

**Author's Note:**

> This is me thinking about life under the facade of a fanfiction. It us written from ES' perspective. If you haven't played Alter Ego yet, I advise you do because this will be bad. Criticism would be helpful and hate is expected. (If anyone actually reads this.)

The book slides easily from the shelf. It has been taken from its place time and time again. Yet I do not grow bored. In this small room, I know everything. The constant brightness of the lamp, the four windowless walls, and the bookshelves. My precious bookshelves. Every book on every shelf I've read numerous times but I cannot stop.

I keep asking myself why, but that leads me to the voice of the facade nagging, jeering at me. Telling me to conform to society, to change to other's wants. I hate it. I hate it because it speaks to a part of me. A part of me that agrees, agrees with its cursed view. A part of me that sees truth in its ramblings. 

Am I worthless?  
Do I even exist?  
Are these books my imagination or someone else's? 

These thoughts flow around my head endlessly. It seems I can't escape. No matter how long I think, I am left unable to decide. Two sides of me have been at war since what feels like forever. 

Time doesn't change in this place. I only know of it from a book I read, otherwise I would have no name for the phenomenon. It would most likely have been the speed of the unending corridor. That would've been what time is to me.


	2. The purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Es questions her perpose in this world. Her world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally any feedback is apreciated. I would like to improve based on my readers.

I know my purpose. My purpose to be a personality tester. That is my job. The book I woke up with proves that. 

The one time I fell asleep and woke up left me with this book in my hands. It speaks on how I will help someone discover themselves. I have yet to see its ability since no visitors have ever come. 

But I wait. Impatiently, I wait for them. The door that keeps me trapped here leads to a dark hallway. Or at least that is what the book says. It talks about ego. A resource necessary to enter this room from the outside. When the wanderer collects enough of this resource, they can ask for one of my books. As they read, they will gain more ego than listening to the whispers. 

The book details everything, but I cannot verify any of it to be true. I see no door. I see no hallway. I see no wanderer. Am I to believe this book without proof. But without this book what am I. A being that has no purpose. Where this book can help someone, I could not, therefore I would have less meaning than this book.


	3. The reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Es asks herself why she writes this book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a blog if anyone is interested. It contains random thoughts, perspectives, and ideas. Its at lifelesshighschooler.blogspot.com.  
> As always, any input about my work is appreciated.

I put my pen down on my desk and question myself. 

Why am I writing this?

I have tried to write books in the past. Fantastical stories of a hero, mystery after mystery, the romance of youth yet all of them unfinished. Left without an ending, a decision made to close the story. I guess I thought that if it was a story about myself, it would come to its own conclusion. But that lead me to the next puzzle. 

Why would I try writing in the first place? It is obviously out of self-interest, but what is the reason? Is it a legacy for whomever may find my home long after I'm gone? Is it to prove to myself that I can pick a side of who I am? 

The characters in stories reflect the author. If I were to finish a story, would that mean I chose how I want to change. The facade is continuously audiable in my room. Will my character choose to follow the facade or follow their desires? I can't end a story because I don't know how to. I can only read what decisions others have chosen.


End file.
